Santa Gram?

Still looking for a way to make some extra cash for Christmas, I searched the Wanted ads very carefully this time and thought I found the perfect job. The ad read, “Looking for the right person for Santa Grams.” Wow, I thought, Santa grahams! I love graham crackers and figured the job had something to do with making little Santa graham cracker cookies, you know, like those little elf cookies, or possibly a taste tester, or even maybe a packager. So, I applied for the job. The interview went well, and quick if I might say, and ended with the manager stating I was perfect for the job. He never actually explained what the job entailed but regardless, I was excited about working with food.

So, I showed up for my first day of work and was terribly confused when the manager handed me a Santa suit and an address. “What?!” “Okay, I get it. I deliver the Santa suit and pick up the Santa Grahams, right?” I asked. “What are you talking about? Don’t be ridiculous. Just put on the suit, go to the party at the address I gave you, do a few Christmas songs, and don’t forget to collect the money,” he grumbled impatiently. Still confused, I asked, “What about the graham crackers?” The manager just blankly stared at me for what seemed like forever, then rolled his eyes and turned and left. Well, here we go again. Another one of those misleading jobs.

But, not to be irresponsible, I donned the suit, beard and all, and headed off to the party. It was a little awkward when I first arrived. Some people screamed “Santa!” while others just giggled sheepishly. Suddenly, an uncomfortable silence took over. Remembering what the manager said, and being a performer by nature, I quickly went into Bing Crosby’s version of White Christmas. The response was pretty good so I figured I’d kick it up a notch with Elvis’ version of Blue Christmas. Boy, was that well received! And my hip action really got the girls going! Before I knew it the crowd was going wild and tips were flying. I didn’t need much encouraging to start break dancing to the tune of Jingle Bell Rock. Everyone went nuts. They all started chanting, “GO SANTA! GO SANTA!” But how I got up on that table Russian dancing to Feliz Navidad in double time, I’ll never know. What a night!

So, it looks like I really did find the perfect job after all. The manager received so many requests for me that I even got a bonus! And not only that, he gave me a case of graham crackers as an early Christmas present.

Merry Christmas Everyone!