Happy 5769!

I’d like to wish all my Jewish friends a happy Rosh Hashanah. As you all know, Rosh Hashanah is the beginning of the Jewish year and, the “birthday” of all of creation. WOW! The birthday of all of creation?! Does that mean it’s my birthday too then? I just love celebrating….. anything actually…. especially when it involves food and rest. Oy vey! Gefilte fish and a nap! What a day!!!

Pear Watching 101

Well, Benny and Aimee are back. I came to realize that they were in the tunnel all along but just hiding under Benny’s magical invisibility cape. Him and his magic tricks! That little weasel!! When he’s not practicing his magic tricks you can find him sitting under the pear tree waiting patiently for a pear to fall. Sometimes it even looks like he’s mind-melding with the pears. He sure does love his fruit! I swear that boy must be a vegetarian! I have an idea -- maybe he should use some magic on the pear tree to make all the pears fall…..and while he’s busy scoffing them up, I can swipe his dinner!!!

The Big Experiment

In looking for larger test subjects it was suggested that I use tennis balls or cookies, or things of that nature. However, I felt that using even larger subjects might produce even larger results. I ultimately did use tennis balls and cookies, just not in that capacity. My goal was to capture and photograph two large subjects colliding in a tunnel at amazingly high speeds. I chose to send Benny in through one end of the tunnel using tennis balls as his accelerator and I sent Aimee in through the opposite end using cookies as her accelerator. Man! Can those two move! A few seconds later I heard a BIG BANG but unfortunately my camera malfunctioned and it was never recorded. I waited and waited but neither Aimee nor Benny emerged from the tunnel. I decided to go in and look for them. Hmmm….where could they be? I went around that darn tunnel three times and found no sign of either of them. Perhaps there really is such a thing as a black hole! Oh well…maybe I can have their dinner!!

The Experiment

One interesting thing about this whole subatomic particle/proton collider thingy is that some believe that if these so called microscopic particles collide at a tremendously high speed it could possibly create a black hole. Hmmm…...intriguing. So, I conducted a few experiments of my own. To my dismay, not only did nothing collide but these microscopic particles are so stinking small you can barely see them. I mean, what is the point of that? What are these scientists thinking? And, are there really such things as black holes anyway? Personally, I think using larger subjects that are visible to the naked eye might produce larger results. Let’s just see…….

What Does it "Matter"?

Listen to this…. It says here that scientists set up this gigantic lab in Switzerland that contains the world’s most powerful particle collider buried inside a 17 mile circular tunnel. WHAT?!!! Let me get this straight. They are spending billions and billions of dollars on equipment and cameras just to see subatomic particles whiz around a tunnel until they collide like bumper cars. WHY?!!! It seems that the purpose of the experiment is to search for other dimensions, dark matter, and antimatter. Hmmm… Don’t the Swiss have better things to do? I mean, aren’t they busy enough making Swiss steak and Swiss cheese, climbing the Swiss Alps, sharpening their Swiss army knives, calibrating their Swiss army watches, and most importantly, putting those tiny little marshmallows in those little packets of Swiss Miss hot chocolate? Those Swiss are sure busy people! Maybe I need to conduct a few subatomic experiments of my own…....

Go Eagles! Go Eagles!

I'm still working on understanding the tennis thing but at least the game of football makes sense. See, someone throws the ball to you, you catch it, and run like the dickens while people chase you! It makes perfect sense...

U.S. Open Review

Let me ask you this…who in their right mind would toss a tennis ball back to someone who just hit it to you, huh? Something about that is just not right. If a tennis ball soars in your direction, it’s only natural to catch it and keep it, not toss it back, right? I mean, that’s really weird, no? It’s not like I didn’t have fun at the U.S. Open, I just don’t understand the game, that’s all. I actually had quite a good time. The USTA Billie Jean King National Tennis Center is an amazing playground! But after a few hours of baking in the sun and trying to understand the point of this game, something came over me. I was compelled to get a closer look…. a MUCH closer look. While down there on the courts, I caught a few balls for Benny, mostly on the first bounce too! I was having a great time, that is, until the security guards came and tossed me out. Well, I’m back home with a few souvenirs, just hanging around waiting for football season to start.

Kitchen Nightmares

Whoa! Am I the only one who didn’t know that tonight was the season opener of “Kitchen Nightmares?” Good thing I found out just in time! I mean, Chef Ramsey is my idol. He thinks he’s got problems? We have our very own kitchen nightmare right here! And her name starts and ends with vowels (and I’m not talking about her mother!)

Birthday Bash

So, yesterday was Orielle’s birthday and even though some of the decorations were unusable (thanks to Aimee), the party went off without a hitch. We started off with some music and Freestyle dancing and then moved on to Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Dawgie. Following that, we busted open a Piñata filled with cinnamon cookies and peanut butter treats. Let’s just say we did not use traditional methods to open it up. No sticks of any kind were used, mostly because I have a compulsion to eat them. Afterwards, Benny entertained us with his amazing magic act. He opened with juggling, not one, not two, but three tennis balls! Whoa! That guy was good! Using his incredible sleight-of-paw he did his Disappearing-Tennis-Ball-Under-the-Cup trick. And if that wasn’t enough, he also pulled a Tennis-Ball-Out-of-the-Hat! And for the grand finale he performed his famous Sawing-the-Tennis-Ball-in-Half trick. Believe me when I say, THAT DUDE WAS AWESOME! We then sang to Orielle, showered her with presents, and had her favorite Liver Cake with whipped cream icing.